Channel: 5secondfilms

Category: News & Politics

Description: Her day had finally come. After a long run of disastrous dates and worse sex, she had found the one worth keeping alive. Norm owned his own successful business, never asked too many questions, and had a great relationship with his parents. They’d definitely go looking if he went missing, at any rate. And when he popped the question, it wasn’t some gaudy display on bended knee at a beach. He just left the ring in her bag one morning on her way to spin class, with a post-it note containing the jeweler’s contact info in case she wanted to return it. That said it all: Norm LeMan was her knight in non-distracting armor. She was never one for big events, hating the idea of lots of eyes following her and knowing her location. So naturally, Norm picked the venue, found the caterers and florist, and planned out the seating chart. It was so handy to have someone else take care of all the details while she tended to a few final affairs of her own...moving the bodies that local wildlife had started to find. Figuring out where to rebury them was rather like a seating chart itself, she thought with a smile. The daylight fell upon her slim white dress as she knocked back a Chardonnay for courage. Time to face the music, she supposed, and yet as she prepared herself to walk the aisle, she found it curious that there was no music at all. Nothing but the same silence she sat with all morning. Nevertheless, the sooner she walked, the sooner she'd get it over with. So off she went, rounding the corner. There she found an audience of completely empty chairs...and Norm, grinning awkwardly, waiting for her at the altar. He even waved with his free hand. His other hand, well, that was rather preoccupied, as it was posing a gun in his mouth. A blast, then a whine rang out. Norm's stump and shoulders tumbled forward, revealing a glowing blue figure standing behind her fiancée. It was...it was...honestly, she forgot his name. The needy one. "I asked you to call me," he said brightly, vacantly. She stood stunned as each chair became filled, with all those shitty men, bloodstained and names long forgotten. Each one turned their creaky, glowing necks to face her with the same cheerless smile. Her day had finally come. ***** Read this awesome review of our cult horror-satire DUDE BRO PARTY MASSACRE III, from Matt Donato and Polygon! polygon.com/22746950/dude-bro-party-massacre-iii-horror-comedy-tropes And then order our film's soundtrack and score on vinyl! sweatbandrecords.com/products/dudebroparty And have a great day! Not until you do those two things first though.