Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin

Category: People & Blogs

Tags: shamediscardenvynarcissistfalse selfmoralsintimate partnernarcissistic abusefixertrue selfintermittent reinforcementshared fantasyexploitationrelationshipshealingself awarenesspersonalitysecond chancegrandiosityrescuermortificationvictimsfearsplittingneedstraumaguiltempathydevaluationterrorself-lovepsychopathshockintimateidealizationcheatingsaviorborderlineanxietydead motherpartnertrauma bondingcodependentgroomingselflovebombing

Description: The codependent needs to be needed (L. Rangelovska) and the narcissist is needy (an addict). The codependent needs to feel safe by controlling the narcissist's godlike False Self. The relationships between narcissists, codependents, and borderlines involve splitting, dysregulation, acting out, an external locus of control (no autonomy or agency, no independence or self-efficacy, separation dynamics and insecure attachment), and anxiety reducing behaviors. The narcissist regards the Borderline as an enigma, a challenge, walking on eggshells makes him feel alive (a form of self-harming). Their mutual intermittent reinforcement (approach-avoidance) is play for power and control. Both externally regulate: a sense of self-worth (narcissist) or moods, affects, and emotions (borderline). Original posted here: youtube.com/watch?v=OngtUtpQ1DQ Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3