Channel: Kina Grannis

Category: Music

Tags: ttcinfertility journeykinasinger songwriterindie singer songwriterkina grannislightkina grannis new musicivfacoustic guitarinfertilityivf journey

Description: Stream on Spotify: spoti.fi/3a4QW57 Download/Stream the new album! ffm.to/hardtobehuman Join KG Records: kgrecords.com --- before starting ivf, the idea of it was crushing to me. i deeply wanted to believe that it would be possible for us to conceive naturally, and involving modern medicine felt cold and sterile and somehow less magical. but as time went on, my heart broke one too many times, and eventually i knew i was ready. i also knew if we were going to take this path, the last thing i wanted was to feel like a victim. as someone surrounded by friends and family getting pregnant with ease (and as someone with a needle phobia!), this was easier said than done.⁣ ⁣ but life's circumstances ended up being my greatest teachers (as per usual), and after a lot of tears and processing, i began to embrace my path. we emptied out the room we'd hoped might become a nursery one day and created a sacred place for my daily injections. each day, before i gave myself 3-4 shots, we sat, lit a candle, put on some music, said some words of intention, and meditated over my syringes to try and infuse them with as much love as possible. what i feared would be cold and sterile became one of the most love-filled and sacred experiences of my life, and how we ended up bringing our daughter into the world now feels like the most meaningful and powerful way we could have done it.⁣ ⁣ the footage used in this music video is from our third ivf egg retrieval, which (like most of ivf) was an emotional roller coaster. after my daily blood draw and scan, we would walk in the woods and try to talk ourselves back to being whole. every day a new worry or fear would arise, and we would spend the next many hours trying to remind ourselves to surrender, to keep open, to keep learning, to keep looking for the love that was still in our lives. the hardest part was working to believe that if at the end of all of this there still was no baby--we would still find joy, we would still create meaning and purpose in our lives, and we would still, ultimately, eventually, be okay. though that headspace was tricky to find and trickier to stay in, there was so much beauty in accessing that delicate little place where the light lives, a place that's always there for us. touching that spot is what this song, "light", is about. --- Say hello: Instagram instagram.com/kinagrannis Facebook facebook.com/kinagrannis Twitch twitch.tv/kinagrannis Twitter twitter.com/kinagrannis Official kinagrannis.com Listen to More Kina: Spotify: bit.ly/kinaspotify iTunes: apple.co/2hxtfeW Merch Store shop.kinagrannis.com --- Light Lyrics I found a light inside inside me That’s burning even in the rain And even when I’m sighing I know that somehow I’m okay I found a light, I found a light Growing in the space between There is no word to claim it And thinking only makes it gray And only in this silence Have I began to see the way I found a light, I found a light Growing in the space between Just close your eyes, just close your eyes feel it underneath what’s seen When we were young we had it We were a part of everything And maybe it’s not lost And maybe this is all a dream We had it all, we have it We had it all, we have it I found a light, I found a light Growing in the space between Just close your eyes, just close your eyes Feel it underneath what’s seen We had it all, we have it We had it all, we have it